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2006-08-17 - 10:03 p.m.
Y'know, it's no wonder that vegetarians and vegans are mocked so frequently by non-vegies. I mean look at 'em: so serious and solemn about their piousness. Oh, they keep their temple clean!
I think it's the self-centered aspect of it that bugs me the most. The navel gazing. That focusing inward. The egocentrism. I mean, these are people who examine their effluvium! These are people that stink up the area with their BO because they're afraid of contamination by deodorant.
And I'm sorry, the mingling of garlic-breath and patchouli doesn't count as deodorant.
The self-righteousness is right up there with the self-conceit. Like any good fanatic they are determined to convert everyone around them, and will bore you with endless tales of chemicals, impurities, and horrid animal cruelty. As if any halfway intelligent American is ignorant of these blights on our food supply.
Instead of saying "No thanks, man, I'm not hungry.", when you offer them a succulent, sizzling bratwurst off the grill, they announce in a slightly louder than necessary voice, "I don't eat the flesh of other animals, III'm a VEGAN! How DARE you offer me the dead flesh of one of God's beautiful creatures."
Fucker. Oh yeah, by the way, you maize muncher, that bong hit you just took? We used au jus instead of water in the bong...
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So, how do you like them apples?