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2005-12-15 - 3:41 a.m.
I dreamt about being at Antioch College again. As I am now. Wandering around their fabulous new library, all glass and stone, with its beautiful collection of Innuit and Pre-Columbian sculpture in a big open gallery with fountains and granite benches, and stealing (trading) knick-knacks that sit on top of the book-stacks left there by students and visitors. And marveling at the Starbucks stand outside the library which opened onto a mall into the union. It was a dream, man.
I felt completely out of place, lost and cut off from all the cool kids by age and ugliness. I woke, as if from a nightmare.
For me, those two years at Antioch were the best two years of my life. And my (second) biggest heartbreak. Heartbreak, because of the failure to graduate.
My life in a microcosm. So much potential, wasted. Here was my dream, my big chance, pissed away.
Here I am, over a decade at Prestigious Midwestern University, with a generous employee discount on a world-class education, and I can't even manage to finish a single class. I start out strong, do well, even very well, in a class, only to drop or get an incomplete. God it hurts. I feel so helpless.
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So, how do you like them apples?