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2003-06-11 - 5:02 a.m.
Yeah, I'm down. It's not like I'm the happiest person in the world, but this is bad.
You may have figured it out by now if you read this, if not, let me tell you...
May 10th, 2003, my former girlfriend, and best friend, Jenny was murdered in a bungled purse snatching.
It's a real tragedy in a lot of ways. Who it happened to, how it happened, and when it happened. I could go on and on, but it's really too painful. And I've written about it often to friends via email and it just makes me feel worse every time I have to go over it.
I can tell you, this has been the worst month of my life. Bar none. I'm destroyed. And what hurts even more is how bad I feel for Jenny's family. They are wonderful, nice people who don't deserve this horror in their lives. It's dreadful to me how much they must be hurting. I can only imagine my pain multiplied a hundredfold, which would be unbearable.
Jenny was the light of my life. She was bright, funny, loving, everything good you can imagine in a person. She wasn't a saint. She wasn't faultless. But she was human. And as good a person and friend as you could ask for.
Her life was cut short just as she had made the move to become independent. She wanted to feel confident in herself and not feel dependent on someone else. She'd had a good start and was starting to take off. It was nice to see. I was proud to know her. I looked forward to seeing her confidence grow. And I looked forward to spending time with her as a friend in a home that she created for herself and her "catboys". I looked forward to seeing her grow strong and build a career, and maybe if she chose to, marry someone good for her and raise beautiful children.
This is everyone's worst nightmare, to lose someone they love to murder. And it truly is a nightmare. it's awful, more horrible than you can imagine if you haven't experienced it. I've lost friends and family to accidents and illness, but it's subtly different in an insidious way to lose someone to murder. You wonder at the callous indifference for life that the murderer has. And you want vengeance.
Words cannot express my rage and contempt for the useless waste of oxygen who killed Jenny. I wish him and his family nothing but ill. I curse him and all his living relatives. May their lives be living hell. May all their endeavors fail at every turn. May their bloodline stop short.
And if my posts here seem bleaker than ever, I hope you can understand.
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So, how do you like them apples?